Thinking Outside The Box: JS Frameworks and Libraries

It seems that everywhere you look nowadays, in terms of ECMA/JavaScript libraries and frameworks (jQuery, ember, Angular, lawnchair, etc.), it's all about fancy, minimal, simple, terse, expressive, consistent, predictable, easy-to-learn, multi-platform bullshit. I say let's think outside the box. Let's build something awesome. Here are a few tenets of Project Bloatrzr:

• Inconsistently inconsistent: sometimes we follow a pattern, sometimes we don't.
• Optimized for IE6 @ 800x600: let's obey and pay homage to the one and true web browser, at SVGA resolution, the one and true resolution.
• Humongous: in terms of both size and memory footprint. Memory is cheap and abundant, and so is bandwidth. No need to cram and prune superfluous code we may or may not need in the future.
• Syntactic sugar clusterf**k: part Perl, part Lisp, Part Objective-C and part MIPS assembly.
• Inherently incompatible: why should we cram our style so that it can "play well with others"? That's obsolete thinking right there. Let's do our own thing and tough luck for the user if their other libraries break. Also, why corner ourselves into a corner? Let's do this in a forwards and backwards incompatible approach as well.
• Documentation: what documentation?
• Changelogs: why take the fun and the sense of adventure of finding out what was changed? Developers like challenges, let's give them one.
• Git repo: Nope. In fact, no version control at all. We'll e-mail Zip'd source trees to each other and we'll do a "good faith" effort to include important code from anyone else that was CC'd.
• Blatantly insecure: why spend precious time "securing" our code? We all know a determined hacker can and will find a way to find an exploit. So, might as well leave a few holes in our code the industrious hacker can inject his or her code.

So, let's get this ball rolling, shall we?